Lulz and Mormons

It has already been established that the purpose of life is to create lulz to amuse the Pranker, but what does this mean? After all, "lulz", as yet, have not been clearly defined. I put forth the idea (which was imparted to me by Pranker) that lulz are anything that cause LOLs or other form of amusement.

I have some marvelous examples of lulz over here ----------------------------------------------------->

...and you should all read all of these marvelous things. It is worth noting that lulz do not have to be intentional; one of the best groups of all time, the Church of Latter Day Saints, is so ridiculous as to be hilarious, as seen in this illustrative diagram:

                                   
LULZ WERE HAD ALL PRAISE TO PRANKER.

Prophet of Pranker out.

What are we?

The question has arose of what people who follow this religion are called. According to a vision from Pranker, the more entertaining the title, the better. I am the Prophet of Pranker, Head of the Lulzican Phallic Body. That's pretty fucking funny. Cheers.

Sincerely, Dane, Prophet of Pranker, Head of the Lulzican Phallic Body.

Lulzism Basics #2

A bit of an expansion on the basic principles of Lulzism, and then some clarification.

Because Lulzism is a religion, it must have an idea of what happens after you die. When a person dies (a cog shatters), the pieces of their cog (the essence of their soul, essentially) drop down into a vast and fiery bucket of molten metal. Many would see this as a hell, but it is not so; at this point, you no longer have consciousness and the being that was "you" no longer exists.

The pieces of the cog dissolve into the greater body of metal. From this vat, the Pranker draws forth varying amounts of metal and casts new cogs to further the grand joke that is life.

For clarification:

The logic of Lulzism is very easy to follow. Life is ridiculous --> Life is a joke --> Jokes have a designer --> This joke must have a designer --> We should be thankful to this designer because he gives us all life --> The only way that we can really thank him is by driving the joke (the machine, or life) with humor. This is divine knowledge imparted to me at 4:30 in the morning while listening to Starfucker's "Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second", and so must be true. All other principles of Lulzism stem from thought on how best to drive the joke.

Lulzism easily explains the beginnings of the universe: the Pranker made it. This begs the question of the origins of the universe of the Pranker, henceforth referred to as the "Haluda Honda" (translated: land of good). The answer cannot be determined, as we cannot observe this universe and therefore have no evidence for any conclusions.

The end of the world will come when the great joke terminates. This shall be known as the "Finis Iocus", or the End of the Joke. We really don't know what will happen then, but hopefully we won't just cease to exist. So why do we seek to perpetuate the joke? Because we don't want to be f*cking assholes. An omnipotent (at least in this universe) being creates you, and you repay him by ignoring his obvious wishes? Not chill at all.

Hopefully your concerns have been allayed. For further questioning, comment or email me @ Happydane500@yahoo.com.

For the Lulz

Lulzism Basics #1

Life is really f*cking  funny.

Every day, if you choose to observe and pay close attention to your surroundings, you can see the quirky ways that life and the world don't really make sense. Humans vainly attempt to control their environment and establish a sense of control over the cosmos, but at the end of the day, shit does what it wants to do and we can't do shit about it. Life, at times, seems like a big joke.

That's because it is.

What is the meaning of life? I have found it. The meaning of life is lulz. This is why we live, why we exist, why we do what we do and think what we think. When one builds on the principle that life is just a big joke or prank, and that our only purpose is to work towards amusing some unknowable higher power (who shall henceforth be known as the Pranker), life is a lot more simple.

We are cogs.

Life can be thought of as not only a joke or prank, but a huge and humorous machine. We are merely cogs in the machine. When we do our part as cogs and produce humor, we are being good cogs and the world functions more humorously, pleasing the Pranker. These cogs, as they turn, produce heat and sound energy through friction. The sound energy is the laughter of the people of Earth, and the heat is the internal amusement felt by the collective human race.

(example of a good cog: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/)

Now I know what you're saying. You're saying, 'Dane, if life is a big joke, why do bad things happen?' This poses an interesting question, as the Pranker surely would not derive amusement from our death (which leads into how valuable human life is, which will be discussed at a later date). The answer is relatively simple: some people do not realize their purpose as cogs, and so seek other aims like an afterlife or the "progression of mankind" (not necessarily bad things to seek, as the pursuit of them can cause lulz and thus fuel the machine) and neglect their duty to amuse the Pranker. These people are called "grinders", because they just sit and clog up the machine, therefore grinding against and wearing down all the other cogs. When enough grinders exist in the world, *bam* bad things.

(example of a grinder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler)

I give you the founding of a new religion, a true religion. I give you the foundation of the Book of Lulz.